


Almost Parallels

by animehead



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-15
Updated: 2012-10-15
Packaged: 2017-11-16 08:58:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/537722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animehead/pseuds/animehead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jake is willing to try on dress clothes and John is willing to give the House of Mirrors another try.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost Parallels

**> Jake: Be open-minded**

 

Honestly, you like the way you dress. You don’t need to wear anything spectacular--shorts, t-shirts, your favorite boots--that’s all a good adventurer really needs. You don’t care about brand name tags or famous designers. If you found yourself in a pickle and need to tear off the sleeve of your shirt to tie it around your leg to constrict the bleeding, it makes no difference to you whether the shirt cost ten dollars or ten thousand. 

 

“You live for adventure, don’t you?” Dirk says as the two of you stare at the entrance of an extravagant men’s clothing store. 

 

“You know I do,” you say. “But this doesn’t seem much like an adventure at all. This just seems... _boring_.”

 

Dirk rolls his eyes, opens the entrance door, and pushes you inside. “Stop being a baby and sate my curiosity.”

 

When the two of you are fully inside the store, you look around, not sure of what you should be looking for. Dirk wants to see how you look in something other than your typical duds and that’s fine with you. Sometimes you do stuff for each other that you really have no interest in. He went hiking with you two days ago and you can only imagine how much he hated that, especially since mosquitos seem to love feasting on him. 

 

_You owe him this much._

 

“All right, all right,” you mutter softly. “Just tell me what you want me to wear.”

 

“Surprise me.” Dirk says and heads toward an empty seat next to the fitting rooms. 

 

 

**> John: Regret your decision **

 

You’ve been apprehensive of the House of Mirrors ever since you ran face first into one when you were little while trying to keep up with your dad. It’s not difficult to remember the temporary throbbing of your forehead. 

 

In fact, it feels that exact way right now. 

 

“Dude.” You hold your glasses in your hand while Dave inspects your forehead for any noticeable damage. “I told you not to run.”

 

“I was trying to keep up with you,” you explain. You hear laughter, people undoubtedly making their way through the maze without slamming their foreheads against hard glass. 

 

“I thought it was pretty obvious by now, Egbert. You can’t keep up with me.”

 

“I can with some things,” you say. Dave is always trying to make it seem like he’s so much cooler than you when the truth is, you’re both pretty equally half cool and half lame. 

 

“Name one,” Dave says as he steps back. 

 

You guess that means there isn’t any cosmetic damage to your forehead. Then again, it barely hurts anymore, so you suppose that rules out anything internal as well. 

 

“The one that counts. In fact, I’d say that it’s you who can’t keep up with _me_.”

 

“Guess you hit your head harder than I thought. You clearly have a concussion and it’s making you say stupidly, _wrong_ , shit.”

 

“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is, Strider,” you say after your slide your glasses back onto your face. You lean against Dave, invading his personal space with your body, and press him against the mirror. 

 

“I already put my money where _your_ mouth is when I bought you that cotton candy. And you ate it so fast, I barely got any.”

 

“Dave, would you stop about the cotton candy? We have way more serious issues going on here. Did you just feel that?”

 

“Feel what?”

 

The look on Dave’s face is pure confusion, so you raise your inflatable hammer in the air and bonk him on the head with it before laughing like a mad man. 

 

Dave doesn’t look very impressed. 

 

“You’re an idiot, Egbert,” he says, so you drop the toy on the ground, grab him the collar, pull him forward, and kiss him. 

 

 

**> Jake: Look dashing**

 

You’re still not into this type of thing, but you have to admit that you think you clean up fairly well. With the help of a kind gentleman, you’ve decided on black slacks, a green shirt, and black suspenders. There’s also a tie draped over your shoulders, black with little white and green marks that remind you of targets, but you haven’t the slightest inkling of how to tie the blasted thing. 

 

You hope that doesn’t lessen the overall effect of your appearance. 

 

When you step out of the dressing room, Dirk is still sitting in the chair, staring straight ahead. You clear your throat to get his attention before speaking. 

 

“So... what do you think? Have I appeased you’re insatiable curiosity?” 

 

When Dirk simply stares at you and doesn’t reply, you start to feel a bit vulnerable and embarrassed. You’d honesty thought it was a decent outfit, but you suppose maybe you were wrong. 

 

“You didn’t tie it.”

 

“Oh, that...” You stare down at your sock covered feet. “I’m afraid I haven’t had too much experience with dealing with these annoying things.”

 

“It’s okay,” Dirk says. “I’ll help you out.”

 

Dirk rises from his seat and walks over to you. He gently ushers you back into the fitting room and follows behind you. When he shuts and locks the door,  you stand up straight and tilt your head back so he won’t have any problems with your posture being in the way of him tying it properly. 

 

Although you’ve never tied a tie, you’re pretty certain that tying one does not involve you being pushed into one of the mirrored dressing room walls and having the breath kissed out of you. 

 

You put your hands on Dirk’s shoulders and attempt to push him back slightly. “Geez, would you calm down a bit, I can’t even-- Ahhh... God....” Dirk’s hands, which had been all over you a few seconds ago, have found their way inside your pants. When you feel one of them dipping toward the waistband of your boxers, you grip his wrist and hold his hand in place. “Have you gone mad?” You whisper. 

 

Dirk stares at you for a few seconds, but it feels like hours. When he reaches up his arm, you think for s second that he’s going to pull you into a kiss, but he adjusts the straps on your suspenders instead, loosening them to the point where they feel awkward and slightly uncomfortable. Before you can ask why, he drops to his knees in front of you and you can barely think. 

 

Formulating questions is downright impossible. 

 

 

**> John: Be sadistic**

 

You love listening to Dave moan. As a matter of fact, you love it so much that you want the whole world to hear it, but you’ll settle for everyone else inside the House of Mirrors. This is one of the reasons why you currently have both of his hands pinned down against the mirror and your mouth wrapped around his cock. The other reason is that you’ve always been interested in the idea of making your own sex tape, but Dave has been apprehensive about that particular idea. 

 

_You figure this is the next best thing._

 

Usually, you don’t like taking your eyes off of Dave when you’re doing this to him. He makes the most arousing facial expressions you’ve ever seen, but you’re free to do it now. No matter which way you shift your eyes, you see him, eyes close, teeth digging into his lower lip, head tilted back, offering you a pale neck that you’d love to leave hickey’s all over if your mouth was preoccupied. 

 

“Hnnngh...”

 

“ _What was that?_ ” Someone asks and you smile, inwardly. The two of you are near the emergency exit, which is far back enough for you to not be discovered by the typical House of Mirror wanderer. But if someone is curious enough, they will definitely chance upon the two of you and the thought turns you on so much that you actually consider releasing one of Dave’s hands just so you can get yourself off with his dick still in your mouth. 

 

“John, please,” Dave begs and it’s heavy and breathy and brings out that southern drawl that he tries to pretend he doesn’t have, so you pull back far enough that your lips just brush against the tip of his cock. 

 

“Please what?” You ask him, your breath fanning over his cock, making it twitch from the loss of the heat of your mouth. “You want me to stop?”

 

_“It sounds like someone is back here or something,”_ someone says in the distance

 

Dave tries to free his hands from yours, but you don’t budge. “Fuck, just...” He jerks his hips forward, making his cock bump against your lips, which are only slightly parted, so you close them and watch in amusement as he curses you and ruts against your face. It’s pretty damn hilarious, but you have enough control not to laugh. 

 

At least, for now. 

 

Eventually, you realize that the longer you torture him, the more you’re starting to feel the effects of it, so you give in. Releasing one of Dave’s wrists, you quickly unfasten your pants and grasp your own cock just as Dave buries his hand into your hair, painfully grips it, and jerks your head forward. 

 

 

**> Jake: Take control**

 

You’ve come to understand that Dirk really likes the way you’re dressed. You know this because you’re still in the fitting room with him bobbing his head between your legs. You’ve tried three times to get undressed, but he won’t let you, so you’ve given up on that. 

 

You’ve had to resort to biting down on your arm and tugging on his hair to keep from screaming when he takes your cock entirely into his mouth and swallows around it. You would’ve cum ages ago, but Dirk keeps teasing you, using his perfect mouth to teeter you on the edge, before pulling back, frustrating you and filling you with need until you can no longer stand it. Even well put together blokes like yourself have a breaking point. 

 

_And you’ve definitely reached yours._

 

Dirk doesn’t even fight you when you yank him up by his hair, nor does he even attempt to gain the upper hand when you spin him around and shove him against the mirror. 

 

“This is not very gentlemanly behavior,” you  growl huskily into his ear while reaching down into his pocket and pulling out the small tube of lube that he pretty much _always_ keeps on him. 

 

No matter the adventure, a good adventurer must always be prepared. 

 

_It just so happens that Dirk’s adventures deal a lot with exhibitionism._

 

You shrug your way out of the suspenders until they fall down at your sides. You’re extremely careful not to drip lube all over your temporary clothes when you slather your cock with the slippery substance. You don’t even have to bother with not getting any on Dirk’s clothes because he already has his pants and boxers around his ankles before you can even toss the tiny tube onto your pile of clothes behind you. Leaning forward, you press your cock against Dirk’s ass. Long gone are the days of you clumsily fumbling behind him. 

 

If they made an olympic sport of you slamming into Dirk on the first try, you’d bring home the gold every time. 

 

You thrust your hips and Dirk gasps and tries to brace himself against the mirror, but you take your lube free hand, grab his hair, and push his head against it. You stare back at his reflection, his cheek pressed against the cool glass, eyes open and watching your every move. Moaning at the sight of him, you reach around him and wrap your fingers around his cock, the tip messily leaking precum onto your fingers. When you slam forward again, Dirk stumbles and you have to release his cock to brace both of your against the mirror, smearing his precum along the glass. 

 

“Holy hell,” you whisper when Dirk glides his tongue along the glass, licking up every trace of it, seconds later your biting down on his shoulder and clamping a hand over his mouth to muffle his surprised cry. 

He squeezes around, eyes tightly shut, hips jerking violently as he cums, spraying, staining and smearing the previously immaculate mirrors. 

 

_Public sex does that type of thing to him._

 

 

**> John: Watch him lose it**

 

This isn’t the dumbest thing the two of you have ever done, but it easily falls within the top five. You could potentially go to jail if someone finds you like this, but you find you can’t really think about that when Dave is straddling your hips and rocking back and forth on top of you. 

 

You knew snagging one of those many small tubes off his brother’s dresser would come in handy. 

 

Between your moans and gasps, you stare up at Dave, watching him with his head bowed forward. It’s been a while since his last hair cut and his hair hangs in front of his eyes. You’re so tempted to pull him down and brush it away from his face so you can stare into them, but your hand is too busy jerking him off while the other grips at his hips, blunt fingernails digging into his skin. 

 

You hear high pitched giggling and you’re pretty sure there are young children around, so you take that as a sign that it’s time for the two of you to get the hell out of there. You press the soles of your shoes hard against the floor and slam up into him, meeting his thrust. Releasing his hip, you grab him by his shirt and pull him down into a kiss while slamming up into him again, over and over, until he’s gasping and crying out into the kiss while you muffle the sound with your lips. You only briefly think about pulling up your shirt to avoid a stain you’ll have to lie to your dad about later, but Dave quivers, twitches, and _clinches_ around you and all you can do is reach up to grip his hips and hold him in place. 

 

You silently thank him when he knows well enough to cover your mouth to keep anyone from hearing you shout a colorful, “ _Fuck, yes_.” 

 

_Public sex does that type of thing to you._

 

 

**> Jake: Take bag**

 

You’re not sure if you’ll ever wear these clothes outside of Dirk’s bedroom or yours, especially if it leads to what just transpired back in the fitting room. But that’s okay. Dirk really liked your clothing selection and you really like Dirk, so if you only wear them for him, that would just be dandy with you. 

 

You take the bag from the salesman while making sure to avoid all eye contact because he definitely saw both you and Dirk walk out of the fitting room together, so you’re pretty flipping certain that he _knows_. 

 

Stepping outside with your bag in hand, you peer inside, taking a gander at your new second favorite outfit and smirk. 

 

_You suppose those swanky clothing stores aren’t so bad after all._

 

**> John: Eat candy apple **

 

“You’re sure you don’t want any?” You asks as you take another crunchy bite of your sugary treat. “It’s good.”

 

“Your stomach is a black hole,” Dave says as the two of you continue down the sidewalk toward his house. 

 

Glancing over at Dave’s flushed appearance and then down at the stain on your shirt, you can’t help but grin. 

 

_You suppose the House of Mirrors isn’t so bad after all._


End file.
